A couple of weeks ago some friends of mine and I ventured out to the University of Illinois at Urbana Champaign to celebrate the unofficial St. Patrick’s day holiday. For those that are unfamiliar with the origin of this “holiday,” it began back in 1996 when bar owner Scott Cochrane decided that he needed to increase business because the academic Spring Break usually includes St. Patty’s day. This leads students to celebrate away from campus. In short, it’s an all day drinking event for college students that visit from hundreds of miles away. Drinking can start as early as 7am; maybe even earlier.
Was I excited? Of course! This would be my first time.
I went with a female friend of mine, and was staying in her friend’s apartment which was filled with yet more females. Now, girls are cool; I like them and everything but sometimes a group of them can really strain your testicular fortitude. In most cases this holds true, but this pack of foxes was different. They actually had just as much balls as any regular guy. AND they where good looking. Very cool. We’ll explore this concept later.
So Friday we started with a quick breakfast at 9:30am and then headed out to the first party at 10:00am. We arrived at an apartment packed with about 50-60 people. There were simultaneous games of Beer Pong going on, bingers left and right, and ice cold BURR for days.
Beautiful.
Nothing really too out of the ordinary, except for the fact that for the first time in my young life I was getting drunk before Maury came on WGN. By 11:15am I was living on a good buzz from about 6 drinks. We decided to leave for one reason or another around 11:30am; probably to head to another party.
We stopped back at base camp briefly to gather a few things and soon we were back on Green St. (the main strip for all things drunk at UofI). While walking, our group consisting of myself; AsianGuy (some random Asian guy); JV; NeedsDick (this girl was in need of a serious pounding); and Deezy, passed a tattoo shop. Upon this discovery, JV decided that she wanted to get her nipples pierced. Umm…OK?
So in we went to the shop. As we entered, some random drunk guy yelled, “Yeah! Get a tattoo! Woooooh! Change your life!” Now, I wasn’t expecting to watch this girl's milk makers actually get penetrated by this massive needle, but in reality, you go into these types of things not really expecting a lot of things; they’re kind of just thrust upon you. And you’re just supposed to make of them what you will. So as the curtain stayed as spread open as your cheating ex-girlfriend’s legs, I watched in complete awe as good ol’ righty and lefty took the piercing like champs.
It was nearing 2:00pm and we needed to rest up for later. This was a good morning of firsts so far, so we headed back to headquarters to nap in order to be in 100% binge drinking condition for the 2nd half of the day to come.
To be continued…
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